A special report from Tanukicorp.
Tanukicorp would like to inform you that the war on eggplants is over. At approximately 0800 hours on July 3rd chemical attacks took place on the largest of the glasshouses and has forced the tyranical eggplant army into a surrender. It is believed that some rebel troops are amassing in one of the offshoot glasshouses but it is only a matter of time before they are supressed.
It is unfortunate that it all had to end with the release of highly lethal chemicals that have resulted in everything being obliterated however we should be thankful that it was contained within the house. 
It was early on a Tuesday morning when a crack team, made up of 3 different nations (Japanese Philipino and English), carried out the mission as a united front against the near unstoppable eggplant force. It is understood that Mattman (the main contributor to this blog) was a part of this team and whilst is not prepared to write a full blogpost about the event he did give us this statement from the front lines:
...A great thing has happened here today. it will be remembered for many years. In a war against vegetables it is always difficult to know what they are going to do next, you never know when the next lot will spring up. The chemical drop was perhaps a little unnecessary but it has truly put an end to this hell, this perpetual, purple, pointless hell... The bravery shown by our squad should be admired, we fought them on the ground we fought them on the branches and we fought them in the glasshouses and we triumphed... I only wish pederson could have been here to see this...It is believed that the danish born Astrid Pederson has returned home due to unknown circumstances. Clearing away of the "bodies" will be a labourious task however some pictures have been sent of the work that has started. Please look away if you of a weak constitution as thes pictures show scenes of graphic eggplant mutilation:
6 comments:
I hate to sound like a perfectionist but that's a picture you have there of the American conquest of Iwo Jima, a paticularly bloody battle in the Second World War between the Americans and...you guessed it, the Japanese.
Is this Freudian at all?
By the way.
You abhorrant murdering fascist, dictatorial bastard!
Those Aubergines had children you know!
I'll see you in the Hauge my friend.
Not an organic farm then!!!!!
No its not its me and my friends sticking a big crazy flag into a pile of eggplant corpses HAHAHAhahaha (manic laughter)
Congratulations Mattman,
It was fortunate that it all had to end with the release of highly lethal chemicals that have resulted in everything being obliterated however we should be thankful that it wasn`t just contained within the house.
Matt, it`s taken me 11 years to try and completely eradicate all thoughts of what you have been fighting against inside of those hothouse battlefields....
I must remind you - your battle has been won but the war is not over yet...
Cheers
Colin
Ex eggplant warrior/survivor
Ah words of wisdom from a true veteran... I hope everything is going well Colin and you are not sitting in the corner of your room, clutching your knees and rocking yourself to sleep as you think about the truly horrific experiences you endured!!!
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