Yesterday as a change of pace a BBQ took place with a few close friends of Mr Sakaki, the other trainees and an Australian ex trainee who was visiting with his family. Finally I have been able to have a face to face conversation with someone who completely understands exactly what I'm saying. Or at least that was the case until one too many BBQ beers were consumed, It appears that my reputation has preceded me, Mr Sakaki told me he had bought a lot of beer for me... ah well.
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Anyway, the BBQ was a very entertaining shindig that ran for the afternoon.However as the event was coming to a close, a few members of our party thought it would be a good idea to carry on to an onsen (hot spring). Collin (the Australian) tried to persuade someone to take us to an onsen, but instead we ended up at one of the guest's house, an elderly gentleman of about 67. It was there that I met a fate worse than death..........
I should point out that the mans house was pretty posh and people at the BBQ had been referring to him as the mayor (but I am assured he was a city office worker).
The K word has reared it's ugly head. I knew I would come across it at some point, 75% of Japanese families do it on a regular basis so it is inevitable that I will at some stage partake in it. I just thought I would have a little longer until it came to crunch time...
Karaoke - Frank Sinatra - My Way - Enough said
That was the first violation of the evening, the second was equally (if not more) embarassing . Needless to say it involves a little device known as a Bidet secreted inside the actual toilet (I always thought they were seperate things). In any case lets just say I was taken by surprise by a strategically positioned jet of water. To make matters worse the toilet had a remote control so when I stood up to finish I didn't know which button to press to flush. Pot luck - I nervously pressed a button..... oh oh....... "buzz whir" the little water jet shooter comes out of his hiding hole and procedes to squirt water firstly into my ill positioned curious face and then as I jumped back in surprise it continued in a stupendous arc covering the floor.... whoops!
Finally to round the evening off I had a go in a massage chair. Something I thought would relax me, maybe with a few little vibrations. Not so. I sat down and allowed the family to press the buttons, suddenly my legs are pinched by some sort of unseen clamps beneath the leather. Then the sensation of what could best be described as a sumo wrestler on roller skates began to roll up and down my back with great force. Eventually it stopped hurting and did begin to feel slightly massage-like and almost, dare I say, enjoyable.
Karaoke - Frank Sinatra - My Way - Enough said
That was the first violation of the evening, the second was equally (if not more) embarassing . Needless to say it involves a little device known as a Bidet secreted inside the actual toilet (I always thought they were seperate things). In any case lets just say I was taken by surprise by a strategically positioned jet of water. To make matters worse the toilet had a remote control so when I stood up to finish I didn't know which button to press to flush. Pot luck - I nervously pressed a button..... oh oh....... "buzz whir" the little water jet shooter comes out of his hiding hole and procedes to squirt water firstly into my ill positioned curious face and then as I jumped back in surprise it continued in a stupendous arc covering the floor.... whoops!
Finally to round the evening off I had a go in a massage chair. Something I thought would relax me, maybe with a few little vibrations. Not so. I sat down and allowed the family to press the buttons, suddenly my legs are pinched by some sort of unseen clamps beneath the leather. Then the sensation of what could best be described as a sumo wrestler on roller skates began to roll up and down my back with great force. Eventually it stopped hurting and did begin to feel slightly massage-like and almost, dare I say, enjoyable.
This morning found me needing the toilet again except at the glass house we only have a dusty old portaloo type construct built around a fully visible hole in the ground with no real seat to speak of - oh how the mighty have fallen!!!
2 comments:
Hi Matthew, Another amusing and interesting blog. Seems like you are having a fun time. We will try and speak to you on Saturday between 8pm and 9pm your time.
Love,
G&Gxx
You technophobe you! Don't blame the posh toilet for your social faux par! Still...makes for good reading!
J
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